The week that was on planet Earth. Here’s what went down…

1 Roland Mouret available online.

2 Winona Ryder does Vogue.

3 The Biffy Clyro effect.

4 Mercury Music Prize shortlist.

5 Rihanna still number one.

6 Harry Potter mania begins.

7 Victoria Beckham’s cellulite shocker.

8 Lindsay Lohan’s denim disaster.

9 Lawsuits, leaks and spoilers.

10 Amy Winehouse spits out.

Back to black

Open your eyes, Shelby, open your eyes, say hello world and get your 5-a-day. Gimme some of that Hollywood yum…

1 Victoria Beckham’s legs. STILL in the headlines for the wrong reasons.

2 McCartney V McCartney. £70 million divorce deal on the table.

3 The Beckhams pop over to see neighbours Tom Cruise and Katie.

4 Sting and his chef demands. The oops-night he went to Casa Tua.

5 Harry Potter trauma. The world is braced for the lit-shock ending.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows

Save Harry

Chrust, trying writing that fast at 5am!

This is the espresso kick tune to put some ass into Friday. You just got bizzled.

The time of day for a wardrobe pick me up…

Pass the smelling salts, pussycats. I’ve just seen Lindsay Lohan decked top to toe in denim. No nice. Wearing more than one piece of denim at one time is defined as a denim suit. No nice.

One denim at a time! Gottit?

How not to OD on denim.

Sass & Bide frayed misfit skinny jeans, £145

Marc by Marc Jacobs camisole, £190

The latest must-read Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has had more leaks than mommie dearest with an exhausted pelvic floor.

Melissa from Montreal ended up with a copy from Wal-Mart supermarket and refused to hand it over because she hadn’t finished it.

JK Rowling has filed a £60 million lawsuit against the New York Post for leaking and printing the plot.

And there is the American couple getting married at the weekend. Their wedding night will have no under-the-sheet shenanigans because after the reception they are hot-footing it to the bookstore to queue with the trillions to get their copy.

Well done world. Keep the madness coming.

We do who we would like to meet before we die…

He’s like the unexpected sexpot David Caruso (CSI Miami) but oh-so-much nicer (we’ve heard the stories). I’ve got a not-so secret crush on Radio 2 hot-jock Chris Evans because he is deliciously cute in his own weird way.

Look at his WLTM credentials. GSOF. Check. Drinking buddy. Check. Great patter. Check. Generous. Check (he might sell his wedding to OK! for charidee). Not-short-of-a-bob-or-two. Check. Cheekie-chappie oomph. Check. Done! I’m sold. Chris Evans is my WLTM.

Question time, Chrissie lambie pie (we’ve emailed him so stay tuned).

1 Whatever happened to Holly Hot Lips?

2 Does Geri Halliwell give you sweet dreams or nightmares?

3 Is it true you have a voodoo doll of Radio One DJ Chris Moyles?

Hey dee-jay

Get out of your lazy bed! It is 5-a-day+1 time. Gimme, gimme some Hollywood yum…

1 BB Charley. Most-hated housemate ever, ever.

2 CSI scandal. Real-life pap brawl centre of crime scene investigation?

3 Hollywood dating hell. Boo hoo for star singletons.
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4 Amy Winehouse live but not kicking.

5 Is Chris Evans OK!? Should he sell his wedding?

6 Mariah Carey smells. New perfume M.

Eau de diva

You know when a label gets all grown-up when it puts on the frou-frou for its first print advertising campaign.

Yup 7 For All Mankind has gone for gloss.

The Los Angeles posh (no not Victoria Beckham – she doesn’t own the word) denim brand will unleash spanking brand new ads shot by Patrick Demarchelier in October starring hot models Carolyn Murphy and Tyson Ballou.

The ads will show off SFAM’s new denim collection with footwear and handbags to follow. Check out our fashion denim story at 4pm today.

website posing 

Pussycats!!!! Spare your elbows in the frenzied throng when shoppers go shopping for the latest Roland Mouret (RM to be strictly legal!!).

Net-a-porter has the collection on line.

But before you overheat in the moment, remember the clothes you order online today won’t be delivered until November.

RM naiad dress, £1,545

Get out of your lazy bed and dig this. It’s the anthem at 11am brought forward to 5am. Cos you look like you need a caffeine kick.

Drop it like it’s hot.

the bomb